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Stirpot's Last Whisper By David K. Nelms
November 20, 2004
Every time I saw him he was tending the kettle, ever watchful for foreign objects that might be in the stew. He was the kindest, gentlest soul you would ever hope to meet, a true diamond in the rough. They called him Stirpot because, with his various afflictions, that was the only job he could do.
Stirpot was mentally impaired and had lost one eye to a bee sting. His contagious grin revealed oral disaster: most of his teeth were gone and those that remained caused him great pain. Yet Stirpot was impervious to life's difficulties. His invincible positive attitude was enough to lift the spirits of even the most despondent among us.
He spoke only his name, and even that was a poor reconstruction of the original. He had a severe lisp that made it all but impossible to recognize. But his smile did the talking for him. He was much loved.
The day Stirpot died he was doing his job: checking the stew for objects. Mercifully, the end came quickly and his pain was short lived. He smiled his happiest smile, took a last breath, then with all his effort gasped out one final whisper:
"Strpos . . . ".
As you battle back the tears, I want you to know something. The sad fact is that I killed Stirpot myself. And I did it because I have a condition known as CRS (Can't Remember Shit).
The problem was that I needed to be able to recall the name of a computer function. The name of the function is "strpos" and it has a "kettle" next to it like this: "strpos()". Strpos looks into a variable ($stew) for strings (objects). The computer language looks like this: strpos($stew, 'object') and I will never forget it again.
For those of you who also suffer from CRS, you will be happy to know about this technique. People who compete in memorization competitions use it. They perform mind-boggling feats such as memorizing the order of four entire decks of cards in just minutes.
The secret is to write yourself a little story. The story should include vivid, emotional content. The stronger the emotion, the better you will remember. It should also tie-in to what you need to recall in as many ways as possible. Using this over a period of time also helps to develop areas of your brain that deal with creativity.
Use the Hammer to reinforce the following:
CASE: Think about how hard it is to remember things
NEW: Imagine yourself as an expert at remembering
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